my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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