So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
