Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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