ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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