I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
When are your genitals available?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
