Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
