And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
