i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Who died my cat blue again?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
