I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
