I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
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update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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