I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
