It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
