Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
