we have officially lost it.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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