Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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