Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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