Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize