Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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