Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
