just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize