That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
