So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize