My pussy is not your playground.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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