$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
