If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
