I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize