Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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