the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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