What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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