You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I lost the right to judge tonight
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
