My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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