I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
