Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
