:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
