singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
