When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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