I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
