do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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