seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
