gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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