Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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