just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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