Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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