laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
accomplished twins. life is a go
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
