You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
