She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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