and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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