Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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