Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I want to fling myself into the sun
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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