Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
