Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
