Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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