What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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