I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
