I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you will always have a special place in my vag
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize