well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
