omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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