We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I intend to get homeless drunk
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
