I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
