Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
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Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
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I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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