talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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