Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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