so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
