No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
