Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You're so nebulous sometimes
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
