i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
that's an acceptable place to lick
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
