The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
